Welcome?

If you have found this blog, saying Welcome does not really seem appropriate. I know you wish you weren't surfing the internet for diabetes. I felt the same.

A big part of me wishes I were not writing about diabetes, nor did I anticipate to become so opinionated or informed on the subject, but it happened. In 2010, my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

It wasn't really part of the plan… Correction - it was not part of the plan, but it happened. It is not always easy, but I think we are all doing okay, and I hope we continue to do so.

Why the Middle East? I happen to live in Dubai. I don't think that living in the Middle East makes mine or my son's diabetic experience any more unique or challenging than it does elsewhere in the developed world.

I hope you stick around, or read something you like. Feel free to comment and join the conversation, subscribe or follow this blog by liking the Facebook page Diapoint.

Please note: This blog does not give medical advice. I am opinionated, and I share my experiences, but the first rule of diabetes is to follow up with your doctor and/or nurse educator about your care, diagnosis or medication. If you do not have a medical practitioner that is helping you find your way through this crazy world, then do not give up until you find the right one.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Unsolicited Advice



I'd be willing to bet that there is not a diabetic on this earth that has not been told by a friend, acquaintance or stranger about a miracle cure or natural remedy that will help them.

I see examples shared almost daily in diabetic groups, and many of the ones that I have been sent are the most impressive fiction out there.

What is it that makes people feel we need to give unsolicited advice? And on a subject that we know nothing about! In the information age, just because its on the internet does not mean it is true.

While I am pretty sure if my child eats certain foods his blood sugars will be more stable, or he may need less insulin, but there is no diet or substance that is really going to cure him and change his need for insulin as a Type 1.

And Type 2s with all the shaming about diet and exercise, I wonder if they are more at odds with how to deal with this advice than Type 1s are.

But yet, while I absolutely hate this, last night I caught myself wanting to give someone that had cancer unsolicited advice.

What the hell do I know about cancer?

Nothing!

I have observed someone try to give a good friend advice on how to manage cancer with her diet. I am sure it was due her experience in getting these comments all the time that allowed her to just smile and not say anything. I was almost out of my seat wanting to shout to the friend who was caught up in her knowledge, "Are you kidding me?!"

But yet, last night when a friend shared some results about a check up that she was not happy about, there I was debating if I should write her a personal message to share my thoughts in more detail.

Of course I desperately want to help, and not see anyone suffer or die from this horrific disease. But back to my original point. What the hell do I know about cancer? Absolutely nothing.

Thankfully, I controlled myself, tried to put myself in her position and thought it through. After all, she beat it, so her doctors must know something!

I guess it is human nature, so it won't be the last time I am inclined to share unsolicited advice. I just hope I have the sense to think about it before I open my mouth or take to the keyboard.


8 comments:

  1. What a great post, Pam! You are so right. Getting unsolicited advice is at best annoying, and at worst, false. But, alas, we are just as inclined to give it when an opportunity presents itself. Thanks for your honesty and the kind reminder to think before we speak!!

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    1. Its difficult.. often the person means well, but its hard to not try to use it as an educational moment than to just get annoyed.. Then there are times you are not sure what the person means.. if it is well, or just something else.. like the time someone told me they could cure my son with transcendental meditation... I just kind of moved on.. but I should have kind of challenged him on how that works.. be sure if it were a thing, I would have already cured my son! Thank you for your comment!

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  2. Great post Pam. Yes I think people are generally well meaning but don't stop to think what their unsolicited advice sounds like. I've experienced this so many times (not diabetic) and yes it's frustrating. An eyeroll in my mind helps :)

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    1. Thanks Angela.. yes, sometimes just thinking about it in your mind is enough to cope.

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  3. People feel helpless when someone is going through an experience that they cannot relate too. I was in this situation and it is very hard for your environment not to know what to do or how to help. What I have learned on my jpurney towards healing is that there is always a part of you that is still healthy and that I has to focus on that - another Unsolicited Advice ;o) ... and when some tried to advice, to say thank you - to bless them, because they care about me.

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    1. This is so true.. and thank you for reminding us of that.. it is especially hard when they do care.. sometimes others are motivated by other things.. that I do not yet understand, but as you point out, most do it because they care

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  4. I know for me, I want so badly to help others especially those in pain, so I am sure, without meaning to I have given unsolicited advise. Your post has me thinking...you're right, "What do I know about Type 1 or Type 2 Diabetes or other medical challenges?" I am trying to be more of a listener in my life and in my work. I suppose what works for one person may not for another, too, so being supportive but not feeling I must have an answer or give advice may be the best I can do so I don't get lost in giving unsolicited advice.

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    1. I agree Juls.. and I have practiced this a lot in my Wellness Coaching - even if it is not my core service, at the least, I wanted to do it to become a better listener!

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